Tired

It’s shifting exam week and I’m on a self-imposed break from studying. Yes, I admit I haven’t studied for the past four exams as much as I should have, but for me it still sucks to know that effort isn’t always equal to success. Especially if you’ve been exerting lots of it–effort to stay awake, to rewrite notes, to read through handouts and thick books, to memorize one normal or abnormal value after another, to highlight even your samplexes just to cram all the information (that you will eventually forget the day after) into your poor, hapless, non-superhuman brain.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m really tired. And wondering whether it’s all worth it, especially after looking at my lousy record over the past few months. I wonder if I want this badly enough to really work hard and eventually succeed. I’ve heard so many teachers say that it’s tough if you’re just being forced into pursuing it, and I do see their point. But what other choice do I have? Last Friday, I remember one of my classmates saying that this was one of the few practical career choices left, and I think he was right. I just hope that I become more motivated, or at least more enlightened, as the exams and the weeks pass by. (Hopefully with better grades.)

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